What I Think About Stuff-a Primer To Comic Book Nerddom

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You’re about to start off on a wonderful journey…

A comic book primer Or Initiate’s guide to the cult of the OverMan

Not too long ago, I had the pleasure of friending Chris Gavaler, a nerd scientist extraordinaire and fellow spandex enthusiast. I also had the even greater pleasure of going through his blog, which focuses on the superhero mythos, ideal and trivia in ways my blog wishes it could.

But it’s gonna.

I had proposed a collaboration with Mr. Gavaler, which was held back due to personal matters on my behalf and will be thankfully completed in full in the near future (mostly because I hate letting the cool people I meet down).

So instead of the original collaborative article aiming to serve as a beginner’s primer to the DC and Marvel cosmology, what you’re going to get instead is (what I hope is going to be) a joint list of 

COMIC BOOKS YOU NEED TO READ IF YOU WANT TO GET INTO THE SUPERHERO GENRE

Now, keep in mind that this is a guide intended for people starting off on the medium, not for hardened veterans, though there are a couple good entries that some of you might have missed.

It is also important to note that these comic books presented here are, for the most part, completed mini-series or self-contained titles so that you (the aspiring nerd) will not be disheartened at the sheer volume of the complete works presented.

So with that in mind, let’s start off our list:

Supreme Power

It’s been ten years and a hundred reads and this cover still gives me the chills

Once upon a time, the creative team of Roy Thomas and John Buscema (two Silver Age superhero titans) decided to create a comic book series titled Squadron Supreme, which was the closest thing Marvel ever came to reproducing the JLA without getting sued.

It was a story of superhuman responsibility, of terrors from beyond the stars and of the most powerful beings in the universe messing up their chance to make the world a better place.

Fast-forward to 2000 and scifi legend and character developer extraordinaire J. Michael Straczynski takes on the series and revamps it, reboots it and retools it, turning it into a veritable masterpiece.

Supreme Power is essentially a cynical, much more realistic take on the actual presence of superhumans in our world and is the absolute perfect primer to people who like the idea of a superhero mythology and teams but cannot be bothered with a huge backstory and tons of trivia.

(There’s also been a Supreme Power spinoff, titled Squadron Supreme but that wasn’t as good as the original series and also didn’t seem to actually go anywhere)

And since we’re talking about Straczynski, there’s no way we can’t mention…

Rising Stars:

And lo, did the thirsting multitudes find solace in the middle of the wasteland…

The 90’s was a crappy time to be a superhero nerd. Most titles out there were garbage and most heroes had pouches instead of a personality.

The black guy on the foreground has about a dozen pouches round his thighs. In Liefeld-speak, that means he’s important!

Rising Stars is the story of 113 children conceived on the eve of a UFO crash in a small town in the USA, born with extraordinary powers. It’s actually a story of extraordinary people struggling to survive in a world that doesn’t quite shun them, as much as suppress their power.

It’s also a story that’s much more brutal and optimistic than Supreme Power, with an ending that makes you smile like an idiot for the rest of the day.

Moving on to more familiar pastures, let’s check out some of the medium’s better known heroes, starting off with…

All-Star Superman:

Six seasons of Lois & Clark abusing this scene and Frank Quitely gets it just right in one frame. Suck it, television.

Grant Morisson has made some weird stuff in his time, not all of it good. But for the sake of All-Star Superman and every other work that revamps a popular character and makes him cool and awesome again in brand new ways, I forgive him.

All-Star Superman is the definitive Superman series. It compresses the mythology of the OverMan into three (count them, folks: 3) trade paperbacks and presents every great battle, idea and challenge the Last Son of Krypton has ever faced, from his conception to his death, requiring little to no knowledge of Kal-El’s origins or backstory.

And while we’re at Superman, what better way to get to know him than…

Red Son:

First time I ever saw this frame, I could not decide whether I should feel awed or slightly amused…

Red Son is the story of Superman landing in the Soviet Union instead of the US out of cosmic coincidence. It’s the story of the Man of Steel growing up in a country ruled by a totalitarian regime, nurtured in ideals that hurt its people and stunt its growth and his own personal struggle between obeying and upholding the laws of man and doing what he does best:

 

Saving people.

To Mark Millar’s credit, Red Son is not an unintelligently written story about communism VS everyone else or even a story about how in Soviet Russia, Superman saves YOU! It’s a story about superhuman and human responsibility and also stars the coolest Lex Luthor I’ve read to date, along with Russian Batman.

Speaking of Batman…

The Dark Knight Returns:

If you’re going to die tomorrow, then read this shit right now.

If you are somehow unaware of Batman’s existence, if your only knowledge of the Batman mythos comes through the Nolan trilogy, if you’re only just starting in comics and want to see what all this Internet fixation with Batman’s about, then read the Dark Knight Returns.

Not Strikes Again. Returns. It’s the definitive, ultimate stand-alone Batman comic book, it comes in a single trade paperback and tells you everything you need to know. The ending is also chilling.

Overanalyzers tend to spot far-right political notions in the narrative. To these people I say: shut the fuck up and read the best Batman story ever, Steve.

But since we’re on Batman, why not look at a more canonical approach with…

Batman: Hush

 Ding…dong…the gang’s all here.

If The Dark Knight Returns is the definitive newbie’s guide, then Hush is the best Batman Crash Course in recorded history. It’s an action packed story that introduces new readers to the entire cast of masked vigilantes of Gotham City, presents Batman’s complete backstory (all four Robins included) depicts Batman kicking Superman’s ass and presents old and brand new supervillains with a flair you won’t find in other comic books.

Hush is one of those comic books you just gotta read, if you want to impress your friends with witty commentary explaining the trivia of the Nolan trilogies next time you’re feeling the burning need to play the intellectual.

But enough about heroes. Let’s talk villains, shall we?

Bomb Queen:

Uuuhh…errr…derp?

Tits, bums, bombs, plots, violence, gore, villainy, great dialogue, cynicism, horrible people, superheroes, supervillains, social commentary.

Bomb Queen is the kind of comic book that has never once taken itself seriously while at the same time presenting great stories in a dead serious manner. It’s funny (in that horrible sort of way), it’s intelligent and above all every volume is pretty much self-contained, which means that you aren’t really that pressed for mythos throughout your read.

Bomb Queen is also a pretty hot piece of ass, all things considered. On another note, read:

Alan Moore’s Swamp Thing Run:

From Death to Divinity

If you’re never going to buy any comic book ever again, then buy Swamp Thing. Along with his MiracleMan run, this is Alan Moore’s finest work in DC comics, beautifully illustrated and presented.

But just in case you aren’t yet convinced, here’s a few of the wonderful things you’ll get to see through this series:

-DC universe’s Hell and Heaven

-The Crisis on Infinite Earths, condensed in a half-dozen pages that bore into your brain and explode with awesome

-The rise of Alec Holland to absolute lord of the biosphere

-Alien Starship-worlds, yo.

Unless of course you want to die without ever truly knowing beauty. Speaking of beauty…

Alan Moore’s Stories of the DC Universe:

 Batman’s laughing at you for not having read it yet.

Superman’s death. The Crime Olympics. A madman and his dream wife. The Killing Joke. The Green Lantern known as Mogo. A world without light or colour. The Empire of Tears. Worlds filled with wonder, watched over by immortal giants.

Pitch is over. Go fucking buy it.

On a final note, regarding the DC Universe in total…

Kingdom Come:

 Needs more Immediate Music

The word ‘epic’ is tossed around a lot in these days. People talk about how this and that is awesome and how comic books are at their height, but not a single one of them stops to consider that not every comic book is a comic book.

Some of them are works of art.

Kingdom Come is the series that should be sealed in an air-tight vacuum and translated into every language, if only so that the alien settlers or future-monkeys that will find it will know it for what it is: a tribute to the OverMan.

Alex Ross paints a masterpiece, Mark Waid breathes life into it and makes you care and that’s all you need to know.

Honorable Mentions:

Because this list is going to get huge if I just keep going at it, I’ll add a few short listing here for your convenience. These are titles that are intended for the intermediate level of comic book enthusiasts, who have read the aforementioned works and want more:

Pretty much everything I’ve reviewed on this site, except Rogan Gosh and Dark Knight Returns

Wanted is the penultimate supervillain book, Planetary is superhero history, Rick Veitch’s the One is the embodiment of cynicism, Flex Mentallo is meta-superhumanity.

Alan Moore’s Supreme run:

The worst artist and the best writer in comic book history combine forces. Things turn out way better than expected.

A reborn version of a shitty comic book, Alan Moore’s Supreme is a look at every superhero trope in existence with a fresh new perspective. It’s funny, it’s clever, it’s fun to read but it’s very vexing to the uninitiated, since Supreme is comprised of constant references to superhero history and might be too much for those of your just getting into the superhero scene.

Garth Ennis’ Hitman:

I keep quoting this every day and as often as I can.

Garth Ennis’ work is blasphemous, witty and funny as hell. It pokes fun at every single superhero trope and does it in a way that makes you feel at the same time embarrassed as well as unbelievably proud of your superheroes. 

It also stars the nicest guy in comics to date.

 

The Authority:

Warren Ellis’ own little superhero universe.

The Authority is violent, gruesome, wondrous and above all, GLORIOUS. It’s only getting an honorable mention because I’m going to be reviewing it in detail in the near future. 

The only reason why this series is not suggested for aspiring nerds is that it tends to work with extremes: you’re either going to love it or you’re going to hate it, without any middle ground to be covered.

That’s about it for my iniate’s list, folks. I’m signing off, hoping that I’ve gotten at least one of you hyped to read these series and explore the superhero medium and its silent maelstrom through the multiverse.

Addendum:

When ChrisGavaler isn’t posing as a mild-mannered teacher and novelist, he speaks themagic words of geekdom and transforms himself into St. Gavaler, the PatronSaint of superheroes, charged with observing, maintaining and teaching theOverMan’s mythos as well as fighting crime when he gets the chance.

He also has a Facebook page and he’s an all around pretty cool guy. Go friend him.

What I Think About Stuff-cutscene Dante Vs Ghost Rider

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Aerial Fu presented by Knives 135

Cutscene Dante Vs Ghost Rider or Ustoppable Badass Vs Demon Biker.

I fucking hate having to do this.

It’s not because I dislike the characters (hell, I loved Devil May Cry 3 and I’ve always had a soft spot since I first read Gath Ennis’ short Ghost Rider Run).

You know, the one that was so goddamn kick-ass it made you wanna puke rainbows?

Instead, it’s because both characters involved in this are the living, breathing, developed personifications of Moore’s Inconstant at work. I went into this thinking it would all be pretty damn straightforward (after all, they’re just two sort of demonic badasses who blow shit up WITH MAGIC AND/OR GUNS) but unfortunately, this is not the case.

But first, a bit of backstory. This is the part I like to call

WHAT THE HELL IS A CUTSCENE DANTE AND WHY CAN’T I DO ANY OF THAT SHIT?

Someone, somewhere is fapping to this scene even as you read this line…

Dante is the quintessential anime badass. He is the product of decade’s worth of over the top action anime tropes, pushed inside a particle accelerator and smashed together at trans-light velocities, then expanded to titanic proportions in order to sate the white man’s need for more over-the-top shit in his video games.

For the love of God, we let you ride on the backs of giants, slay gods and do their wives for power-ups; what more could you possibly want?

Game developers cried and Japan tried to fill our need for extreme crap by releasing weird title after title, by we just wouldn’t have enough. We’d just eat that shit up, absorb its wackiness and go ‘meh’.

But a million video game nerds breathed out a single ‘meh’ at once and were suddenly silenced, the minute Hideki Kamiya slapped his draft for Devil May Cry on the Capcom executive’s desk so hard, the glass on the 50^th floor exploded outward and rained on the streets below, injuring dozens.

Hideki looked upon the bleeding, confused multitudes and just smiled.

You see, his goal wasn’t working his way around the tropes (like everyone else was doing) and trying to find ways to revolutionize the genre. No sir: his goal was to make everything as big, as good, as fast, as strong as he could. He would take all the old boring shit we’d grown accustomed to over the years and blow them in our goddamn face.

Slowly building his power, until his softcore porn action game about a ridiculously tall woman with guns for shoes would become a reality.

Thus, Dante was born. Who’s Dante? Dante’s half-demon (yawn), he’s got a sword (snore), a pair of guns (zzzz) and white hair from birth (zzzzzzzzzz). He’s also ripped as fuck, but then again who isn’t these days?

Pictured: a group of average Greek guys, just walking down the street, minding their own business.

He’s boring as fuck and if he never uttered a single word in his entire lifetime, no one would notice. He wouldn’t have anything interesting to say, after all. So what was it that made Dante such a big hit? If he’s shit with the ladies and doesn’t have anything unique going for him, what could possibly have accounted for his ridiculous popularity?

Turns out Dante can’t dance, Dante can’t talk. Only thing ‘bout is him is the way he jumps down a tower, rides down its surface, impales half a dozen demons by flinging his sword and aiming a bullet so that it pushes it at Mach 5 across the heavens, in order to ride them and get swallowed by a flying demon whale, which he bursts out of.

He can also briefly turn into a demon, which I guess is kinda cool.

The only problem with Dante is this: he suffers from a severe case of power inconsistency. You see, mr. Kamiya loves his cutscenes…way too much. And not in a healthy way either. He loves his cutscenes the way Quentin Tarantino loved Samuel L. Jackson

Oh don’t you worry Sam, he won’t be getting over you any time soon.

Or the way the crazy lady across the street loves her collection of dolls she’s always wanted to show you. The one she places somewhere in the living room, overlooking the window so you look at it even if you don’t want to every time you cross the street to and from school and it seems like that little red one (the one she calls Mini Mandy) is always following you with is little eyes, but that’s ridiculous, because Mini Mandy’s got buttons for eyes, but you know it’s leaning over the sill ever so slightly and if you turned and looked right now, you’d see Mini Mandy’s threaded lips part and a little cotton tongue dart out and lick its lips and whisper something, but you’ve never dared, not even once because you know what the words will spell will be, don’t you? Want me to say them? Want me to say the words?

Cooommmeee hooommmeee Michael….

Well Hideki loves his cutscenes exactly that much. Which is why he fills them with breathtaking visuals and impressive stunts WHICH CANNOT BE IN ANY WAY REPRODUCED IN GAME.

Now, a cynic might say that Mr. Kamiya does this for the sake of hype, putting style over substance. To these people I will say:

Would you have it any other way?

Of course this case of style over substance has split the character Dante in two. On the one hand, there is average, vulnerable Dante (you know, the one with the Health Bar who actually does stuff when you press buttons and takes up most of the game). On the other, there’s Cutscene Dante, the invincible badass whose powers and abilities seem to lack definition.

Now according to my Versus rules, each contestant MUST be at the peak of his capability, which means that Cutscene Dante will be taking this one, instead of that other interactive pussy we’ve had to put up with for 4 games so far.

I’m talking to you, you responsive, vulnerable, entertaining bastard.

Cutscene Dante’s powers are as follows:

·         Near Invulnerability: Cutscene Dante is impervious to everything except McGuffins and objects or persons with McGuffin-like properties.

·         Combat Agility: I know this sounds like a D&D bonus fighter feat (remind me to tell you how much I fucking hate those one day), but how the hell else  can I name his ability to attack 12 times in six seconds with a goddamn broadsword?

·         Infinite Revolver Ammo: IDKFA

·         Near-Instantaneous regeneration capability: This ceases to apply when McGuffin-like properties are put into effect

·         Spontaneous switch to demonic form: Not as impressive, but a definite asset.

With Dante out of the way, let’s move to our next contestant, the Ghost Rider.

WHO OR WHAT THE HELL IS THE GHOST RIDER, ANYWAY?

Ghost Rider is an occult Marvel superhero who has spawned an awesome comic book series and two shitty movies starring and untalented hack.

Directed by the first all-chimpanzee staffed movie studio ever.

Ghost Rider is a demon...or an angel…or the One True Lord of the Pit or a WMD made by Heaven to be used against Hell or something. His origins and exact nature switch from writer to writer, therefore any and all attempts to define his origin are futile, at best.

You’re perfectly free to waste your time by trying to make sense out ofthis article here, however.

His wide selection of powers range from Kinda Interesting to Godlike, with nobody in the Marvel Universe able to agree on whether or not Ghost Rider is the most powerful thing since they tied Cable onto a Universe-Erasing Bomb.

What we know is this: Ghost Rider is Marvel’s Dante. He’s an unstoppable mystic force that tramples the living shit out of everything pitted against him, by virtue of Moore’s inconstant. His powers (the ones he will be using in this fight, that is) are:

• Superhuman Strength: The Ghost Rider possesses superhuman strength sufficient to lift up to 25 tons.

• Superhuman Stamina: The mystical energy that empowers Ghost Rider prevents his muscles from producing fatigue toxins during physical activities, granting him limitless superhuman stamina.

•  Superhuman Durability: Much like Dante, the Ghost Rider is vulnerable only to McGuffins and objects or persons with McGuffin-like properties.

• Hellfire Manipulation: Ghost Rider possesses the ability to generate, control, and project mystical fire, or "hellfire" at will. Hellfire is an emphyreal and supernatural flame that burns the soul of a person and can be used to burn their physical body.

Mmmm, that’s good bullshit!

• Mystical Chain Projection: Ghost Rider wields a mystical chain that is capable of growing in length, cutting through almost anything, and transforming into other weapons. He can also spew and project chains from his mouth or chest at will.

• Penance Stare: Ghost Rider possesses the supernatural ability to cause any individual who stares into his eyes to see and feel every single bit of physical or emotional pain they have ever inflicted on anyone in their entire lifetime

These last two powers aren’t as impressive, but they will definitely give Ghost Rider an edge in this battle. 

Or will they?

They won’t actually. None of their powers will actually give them an edge in this battle and instead turn this confrontation into a maelstrom of combos, fire and other-seizure inducing shit that will leave you wondering:

Thank you, Perturbed Cat.

You see, unlike in the Superman vs Son Goku argument, here we have two contestans who are equally invulnerable to pretty much the same conditions. They are both impervious to pretty much anything can dish to the other (with the exception of Ghost Rider’s hellfire).

Which means that, for the sake of fairness to the reader, an equally hazardous factor must be presented into this battle from the first round of combat. With that in mind, ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

THESPHERE OF ANNIHILATION!

Unlike its lame D&D counterpart, this sphere serves instead as a means for both combatants to duke it off with a direct danger to their safety. The rules are as follows:

-Gravity in the Sphere of Annihilation is relative: Each branch of the sphere has its own gravity and each of its floors has its own ‘down’ pulling each combatant hovering over it to its surface

-The floor kills you: The center of the Sphere is a portal that leads into the heart of a quasar. A contestant thrown inside will be immediately teleported in the heart of the burning star and incinerated immediately.

-It exists in actual space and is cut off from any mystical means: Therefore, neither of the contestans will have access to all their cool magical shit they might pull out of their ass.

They’re fighting because Dante’s been secretly contracted to kill Ghost Rider and Ghost Rider has been hired to avenge every demon Dante has ever slain.

And that’s a shitload of them.

Ding-ding-ding!

They both start off on the same sphere lane, a few meters apart. Dante starts off the battle by saying something anime cutsie, like let’s say:

 

“Who the hell do you think I am?”

Ghost Rider says:

“RAAARRRRGH!” and breathes hellfire on him. Dante Jumps out of the way, dodging the attack. He draws his guns and shoots Ghost-Rider mid-summersault. Ghost Rider fucking takes it, because he’s been punched by the Hulk and walked away from it.

U mad, bro?

The demon biker speeds toward his assailant, who pours bullets into his enemy but still hasn’t even gotten a D combo rating. He barely has time to react, as Ghost Rider jumps with his motorcycle and rams Dante, pushing them both into the adjacent Sphere lane.

As the gravity of the surface begins to pull them down, Dante grits his teeth, reaches out and headbutts Ghost Rider, climbing onto his motorcycle, his trenchcoat on fire. Ghost Rider tries to strike him and push him away by animating his chains, but Dante has the advantage of fighting in close range. Without missing a beat, the son of Sparda presses R1 and equips Beowulf.

Hear that sizzling sound? That’s the sound of Dante opening a fresh can a’wup-ass

Dante starts punching and kicking the everliving fuck out of Ghost Rider, who has no choice but to defend himself, even as they plummet upwards to the next surface. The blows dislodge a pair of his teeth, the minute the bike crashes on the surface, skidding and pushing them both to the edge. 

The gravity lets go for a second and they tumble upward, into the next surface.

Ghost Rider revs his bike and moves up (the damn thing can move freely in space), trying to get some range so he can use his chains. Dante takes the volley and his chains whip him. He allows one to impale him, so he can keep a hold on his opponent. They get caught in a tug-of war that pulls Ghost Rider away from his bike. Dante presses R1 again, equips his sword and runs Ghost Rider through, as they all tumble up onto the surface in a mess.

Round one goes to Dante.

RRRoooaarrggh!

Dante gets ready to absorb Ghost Rider’s power and maybe get his bitchin’ chain, when Ghost Rider hits him with his Penance Stare. Dante is suddenly flooded with the experience of every awesome 30-hit combo he’s ever pulled off on every demon he’s ever encountered.

Dante starts screaming as he feels as if every bone in his body getting broken and the shit kicked out of him, releasing Ghost Rider. The demon gets up and unleashes hellfire on the demon hunter, burning him up. Dante can’t dodge this shit since he’s in excruciating pain, but that doesn’t mean it can actually hurt him.

He’s a good guy, see.

Ghost Rider runs for his bike and so does Dante. Imagine that, If you will: two men on fire, running for a flaming motorcycle that’s been running circles around a ring set in the middle of space overlooking a portal into a quasar. Imagine Ghost Rider, with Dante’s blade sticking out from his back, his chains picking at Dante (who can’t quite see, being on fire and all).

Ghost Rider and Dante jump in the air, headed for the bike. Dante can’t reach him, so he grabs his blade and tugs it out of Ghost rider’s chest. The demon shrugs, turns the bike a full 360 turn and slaps Dante, pushing him away into the next lane. The Son of Sparda tumbles in free-fall for a while and Ghost Rider follows him, chains whipping at his opponent.

Somebody cues a bitchin’ metal cover of Ghost Riders in the Sky’ for noparticular reason.

Dante gets struck repetedly and they both crash into each other, only this time Ghost Rider is ready. He knows he can’t use his chains’ full length, so he chooses to punch the crap out of Dante, while limiting his mobility by binding him with his chains.

What follows is one of those awesomely choreographed two-guys-one-bike fight scenes you just can’t get enough out of.

This, only instead of a bike there’s a flaming motorcycle, the guy on the left’s head is on fire and they’re in space.

Dante could have gotten the upper hand in this, but Ghost Rider decides to play this for keeps. The demon hunter has gotten the shit kicked out of him before he can understand what’s going on.

Round Two goes to Ghost Rider.

Where he can’t see the fan ‘cause of all the shit that’s just hit it.

Both contestants suddenly find themselves having deviated from their course and plummeting outward, to the burning center of the Sphere of Annihilation. Ghost Rider and Dante know that they have maybe a few seconds before they both fry, therefore they need to speed this shit up and fast.

Dante switches to his demon form and breaks out of his bonds. Using Ghost Rider’s bike as leverage, he jumps out, toward one of the surfaces and lets himself get carried away. Ghost Rider whips out his chain and grabs him by the leg, hindering his escape. Dante fights back but ends up getting pulled close to his opponent.

With the heart of the quasar lingering closer behind them, Dante kicks at Ghost rider’s face and plunges his broadsword into his chest, twisting and letting hellfire pour out, burning him. He shoots at the demon with his guns, pouring lead onto his arms and face, but can’t make the creature let go.

Ghost Rider tugs at his chain and whips Dante around, slamming him onto one of the surfaces. Dante gets the wind knocked out of him and is dragged on the surface. Ghost Rider tries to haul himself to safety, but Dante pulls back. Lacking a surface to push against, Ghost rider finds himself losing the tug of war and is hurled into the teleporter.

Letting go of his motorcycle at the last minute and using the tug to get himself on solid ground at the edges of the gate, Ghost rider watches the vehicle descend into the terrible heat and burn. Having gotten himself some leverage however, he exerts his supernatural strength and tugs Dante down to his level.

Invulnerability doesn’t count for shit when you’re dangling over a supermassive black hole furnace.

Dante has significant strength, but Ghost Rider can bench press 25 tons. He can’t win this. He can push back and try to cut off Ghost Rider’s chains, but that will give his opponent ample time to tug him and toss him in.

Dante falls inside the portal and is swallowed up inside the quasar. Ghost Rider wins the battle through sheer physical strength. Dante had a clear combat advantage, but Ghost Rider won thanks to sheer brawn

Addendum:

Jesus Christ, I need me some Dragonforce right now:

Fun fact: here are top 5 google search terms through which people find my blog:

5-Metabarons

4-Humanoid Zebra Moose

3-Guns with tits on them

2-Nerdy girl with big tits

1-Superman VS Goku 

Funny how only two are even remotely relevant.